The Struggle Turned Stoic

I've never considered myself a poet. Poetry has always been something of a mystery to me. It never occurred to me that I might actually be able to write anything of worth if it's in the form of a poem. I've recently been pleasantly surprised in my poem-writing abilities, but only because I'm in a creative writing course which happens to be focusing on poetry for the time being. But why does that mean I'm writing a blog post about poetry? Well, poetry, like so many other forms of creativity and writing, gives you a better look into yourself, without you realizing it. You can start out writing about something like a flower king (and no I'm not kidding, I literally did that) and end up relating it to a deep feeling within that you didn't even know existed. Maybe that's why poetry always seemed so difficult before. How could I write something so metaphorically touching and real? How can I attempt to make sense of some abstract idea? I'm not stoic enough to write poetry. But maybe I am.

I watched a TED talk today about introversion. Not that it has anything to do with poetry at large, but it made me realize that maybe some of the great poets were really just looking for a way to get out of their own minds and writing was how they did that. And that's the great thing about poetry. If your going through something that they can't make sense of by themselves, sometimes writing a poem about a seemingly unrelated topic can help you understand your own mind. Sure, I find comfort in solitude and quietness, but sometimes by opening your ears and your mind to what's happening around you can yield quite remarkable results.

Just some food for thought as you enter into the end of the week and most likely a mental break for the weekend. Salutations good friend.

[Insert Meaningful and Thought-Provoking Title Here]

College Take Two. Today marks the end of my first week at the U of M. It's crazy, but not like how I was hoping. The college is massive, as expected, and there are people everywhere. Yet I'm lonely and friendless as I sit in my room and watch Netflix on a daily basis. I go to all my classes and become engaged in the discussions. I take a genuine interest in the things I'm studying and pour myself into assignments, readings, and writings. I realize it's my own fault for being forever awkward and introverting myself. I'm really not even that awkward, it all just depends on the situation. If you came up to be in Starbucks or struck up a conversation with me while in a line, I'd have one helluva conversation. The problem comes when I'm put into a situation with random people I don't know and am forced to converse with them. Like if someone sits by me while I'm eating or studying.... Do I keep eating silently? Do I try and make small-talk and ask all of the generic questions like name, year, major, etc.? I panic and then sulk when I get back to my room and acknowledge the fact that I just totally blew it! The other problem is that I really don't like hanging out with people my age. I've gotten used to hanging out with and having real discussions with people who are at least 2-3 years older than me and it's completely turned me off to the idea of being friends with other freshman. Too bad I'm mostly surrounded by freshman. 

Oh well I suppose, at least I'm getting something out of my classes. For example, in my one class for the day, I got to really dig into what makes up a poem. Doesn't seem like that big of a deal, right, but for someone who's used to this format or an essay format, poems can be kind of daunting. Anyways, this is what happened in that short hour and a half.

I wrote a poem about my brother, but not the kind of poem you would expect. It started out as a rant of stored up annoyance at his lack of reliability but by the time I reached the end, I realized I was making things up. Sure we've grown apart, but that's exactly what it is. We reached a time in our lives where we decided to go down two very different paths, and that's just fine. I still love him, of course, how could I not? He's my brother, after all, and I know that he will always fight a battle if I need him to, break some douchebag's nose when necessary, and give me a drink if I'm having a really rough day. Why could I not see that before? Before it just seemed like he was abandoning the family, but really, he's just making his life what he wants it to be, which is really all I could ever ask for. Everyone deserves happiness and to have the life they desire, so why should my selfishness come in the way of rooting for them every step of the way? 

Long story short, I have a feeling this will be one of many many epiphanies that come to me in my time here at the U. The inquisitive, insightful environment I'm in is having wonderful effects on my creativity and open-mindedness, which means, of course, that more blogs shall be written and more insightful, dorky videos shall be made. Prepare for the storm to come, friends, it's certainly brewing in the deep recesses of my mind. :P

Shenanigans and Adventures

Some of my very favorite people and I decided to go for an adventure, drunk, and then video tape it, how is that not a good idea?! Just kidding, I was not intoxicated but the footage of them is quite exquisite so please enjoy our Friendly Adventures :)