Dogs Make The World Go Round

And my dog fever is back again. How could you not want one of these adorable creatures??

18 Dogs Who Are As Socially Awkward As They Are Adorable:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2Sz5oh/UtGgov@@:Q+f9SPq7/news.distractify.com/megan-mccormick/18-dogs-who-are-as-socially-awkward-as-they-are-adorable

Distractions

Another piece from my poetry portfolio

_Distractions

He’s always there.

They’re not even doing anything,

yet it’s better than the homework she should be doing.

I mean really, she could be studying, sleeping, eating, running,

or a number of other things,

 but when he’s around,

none of that seems important.

 There’s always something better to do with him there.

Why be productive when nothing sounds more appealing

than spending an entire day in your pajamas and watching Netflix.

Maybe take an afternoon siesta, just to feel his arms around her.

There doesn’t have to be a schedule,

and that’s what draws her to him.

He’s so easygoing and carefree.

Ambitions to become some big shot lawyer,

yet he gets away with just sitting there,

brushing that bronze hair back in that chilled way she loves.

He can make her melt just by existing.

There he goes again, biting his lip as he ponders some important philosophical question,

he’s got to be doing that on purpose, right?

Honestly, he’s too perfect for words.

Just as she’s reaching out to brush his hair away from his beautiful hazel eyes,

he dissolves before her eyes and she wakes up.

Bummer.

A Favorite Poem From my Portfolio

Enrapturing Sounds

A phrase. A chord.

The words of a broken heart

strung together to make something beautiful.

Sweet and smooth, like the coffee you sip,

sitting amongst meaningful chatter.

Here we all are, brought together

over the love of a great cup of joe

and the opportunity to share our stories.

An Indie group discuss the museum down the street,

full of abstract pieces provoking philosophical thought.

There sit the classic white girls,

planning the “event of the century.”

A party certain to be full of questionable substances

and even more dubious decisions.

Over by the window,

a love story unfolds before your eyes

as a couple shares a coffee date,

reveling in crisp conversation.

They sneak a kiss and you can’t help

but feel a tiny bubble of happiness

burst inside of you,

jealousy and delight fighting to win you over.

Scattered about are the students who

--believe it or not-- actually study.

Attempting, but usually not succeeding

at cranking out some homework at the coffee shop.

What is the world really saying?

Looking out the window into an empty courtyard,

listening to the pangs of dorm life,

you realize you hear the movements of all the tenants.

Every. Little. Thing.

Your neighbor grabbing a late night snack,

(want to share that popcorn)?

A couple getting lucky in the room above you,

(why are you moaning so much)?

That weird smelly guy finally taking a shower

(thank you).

Someone’s alarm continually getting snoozed,

(or is that mine)

 as you try to avoid the sounds surrounding you.

Why must dorm buildings be so un-sound proof?

Writing Poses Some Important Questions

So school is school and it's distracting and pulls our minds in a million different ways at once. However, when writing, your mind focuses on one topic, the topic you're writing about. It's a break from the lists and lists of things to do and the constant scatter-brain-ness that I seem to be consumed by. I've been doing a lot of writing lately, but not in the form you may expect. Usually when I'm writing it's a tweet, blog post, or yik yak that is just conscious vomit that turns into words which turns into what you're reading at this very moment. Lately, though, I've been focusing on poetry and metaphors and what doors they can open. Thinking about a poem from a certain standpoint and then gaining a new perspective can help a piece evolve. Something that completely blew my mind was said in a guest lecture in the creative writing course I'm in: "metaphors happen within surprising verbs." Just let that sink in, think of all the metaphors you're using every day, without even realizing it.

Anyways, I'm maturing as a writer and I'm really enjoying delving into thought through words, plus I can type suuuper fast now lol. 

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Like promised in an earlier post, I mentioned I would share some of my poems with you through this wonderful site, so over the next while, I shall share my favorite pieces either as I work on them, revise them, or decide that they are polished and beautiful. 

Look out for all them poems a-comin' your way, folks!

The Struggle Turned Stoic

I've never considered myself a poet. Poetry has always been something of a mystery to me. It never occurred to me that I might actually be able to write anything of worth if it's in the form of a poem. I've recently been pleasantly surprised in my poem-writing abilities, but only because I'm in a creative writing course which happens to be focusing on poetry for the time being. But why does that mean I'm writing a blog post about poetry? Well, poetry, like so many other forms of creativity and writing, gives you a better look into yourself, without you realizing it. You can start out writing about something like a flower king (and no I'm not kidding, I literally did that) and end up relating it to a deep feeling within that you didn't even know existed. Maybe that's why poetry always seemed so difficult before. How could I write something so metaphorically touching and real? How can I attempt to make sense of some abstract idea? I'm not stoic enough to write poetry. But maybe I am.

I watched a TED talk today about introversion. Not that it has anything to do with poetry at large, but it made me realize that maybe some of the great poets were really just looking for a way to get out of their own minds and writing was how they did that. And that's the great thing about poetry. If your going through something that they can't make sense of by themselves, sometimes writing a poem about a seemingly unrelated topic can help you understand your own mind. Sure, I find comfort in solitude and quietness, but sometimes by opening your ears and your mind to what's happening around you can yield quite remarkable results.

Just some food for thought as you enter into the end of the week and most likely a mental break for the weekend. Salutations good friend.

[Insert Meaningful and Thought-Provoking Title Here]

College Take Two. Today marks the end of my first week at the U of M. It's crazy, but not like how I was hoping. The college is massive, as expected, and there are people everywhere. Yet I'm lonely and friendless as I sit in my room and watch Netflix on a daily basis. I go to all my classes and become engaged in the discussions. I take a genuine interest in the things I'm studying and pour myself into assignments, readings, and writings. I realize it's my own fault for being forever awkward and introverting myself. I'm really not even that awkward, it all just depends on the situation. If you came up to be in Starbucks or struck up a conversation with me while in a line, I'd have one helluva conversation. The problem comes when I'm put into a situation with random people I don't know and am forced to converse with them. Like if someone sits by me while I'm eating or studying.... Do I keep eating silently? Do I try and make small-talk and ask all of the generic questions like name, year, major, etc.? I panic and then sulk when I get back to my room and acknowledge the fact that I just totally blew it! The other problem is that I really don't like hanging out with people my age. I've gotten used to hanging out with and having real discussions with people who are at least 2-3 years older than me and it's completely turned me off to the idea of being friends with other freshman. Too bad I'm mostly surrounded by freshman. 

Oh well I suppose, at least I'm getting something out of my classes. For example, in my one class for the day, I got to really dig into what makes up a poem. Doesn't seem like that big of a deal, right, but for someone who's used to this format or an essay format, poems can be kind of daunting. Anyways, this is what happened in that short hour and a half.

I wrote a poem about my brother, but not the kind of poem you would expect. It started out as a rant of stored up annoyance at his lack of reliability but by the time I reached the end, I realized I was making things up. Sure we've grown apart, but that's exactly what it is. We reached a time in our lives where we decided to go down two very different paths, and that's just fine. I still love him, of course, how could I not? He's my brother, after all, and I know that he will always fight a battle if I need him to, break some douchebag's nose when necessary, and give me a drink if I'm having a really rough day. Why could I not see that before? Before it just seemed like he was abandoning the family, but really, he's just making his life what he wants it to be, which is really all I could ever ask for. Everyone deserves happiness and to have the life they desire, so why should my selfishness come in the way of rooting for them every step of the way? 

Long story short, I have a feeling this will be one of many many epiphanies that come to me in my time here at the U. The inquisitive, insightful environment I'm in is having wonderful effects on my creativity and open-mindedness, which means, of course, that more blogs shall be written and more insightful, dorky videos shall be made. Prepare for the storm to come, friends, it's certainly brewing in the deep recesses of my mind. :P

Shenanigans and Adventures

Some of my very favorite people and I decided to go for an adventure, drunk, and then video tape it, how is that not a good idea?! Just kidding, I was not intoxicated but the footage of them is quite exquisite so please enjoy our Friendly Adventures :)

Strange People at the Pool

Yes, this video is late, but it's finally up and running so check out all of my thoughts on all of the strange people who come to the pool :D

The Shenanigans Are Back!

I'm baaaaaack!! This has been long overdue, but try and enjoy the madness.

A Life of Service

Today I returned home from my last mission trip as a youth with my church. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but believe it or not, this is a huge turning point in my life. My five years of serving with my church family have changed my life and I honestly don't know what I would do without the people I've met or the things I've experienced. Just let me explain.

Picture the scene: A quiet 8th grader, just finishing confirmation classes is approached to go on a mission trip to North Carolina for ten days with 40 people she's never talked to.

After himming and hawing for weeks, I finally caved and decided to go. It ended up being the greatest decision of my life. I grew closer to God, got to see a different part of the country, and got to gain a ton of new friends along the way. Also, I learned that I love serving others. I didn't care what I was doing, as long as I was making a difference in someone's life. After that first trip, I was sold. Since then, I have gone to Boston, MA, Lincoln County, WV, New Orleans, LA, and most recently, Cortez, CO. Along the way, I've worked with under-privileged kids in a number of different situations, helped paint and scrape houses, completely gutted an unsafe mobile home, moved furniture, cleaned schools, chatted with old folks, and served food to those in need. They may seem like little things, but to those with so little, sometimes just a listening ear is all that is necessary. While our group has always gone to serve the community, we end up being changed much more than those we're serving. It amazes me how someone with so little can be so grateful and cheerful.

The people I've met and places I've seen have shown me the grace of God. He's powerfully at work in each and every one of our lives, we just have to take the time to notice it. At times it may feel like we're completely alone and no one out there will hear our cry, but God is always listening. I've experienced this first hand. I've been battling depression for a few years now and these trips and turning to God always take me out of the cycle of feeling worthless and pathetic. I've come to appreciate so much that I am given and try to always put others before myself. It's not an easy life, but if I can make a difference in someone's life in any way, no matter how small, I'll count it as a good day.

Welcome to the religious side of Sam Jones. It's always been there, but it took me until now to realize that I can share my whole self with those around me. Sure, not many read these, but if one person reads this and sees how God has worked in the lives I've seen, maybe they'll start to notice it in their own lives. Besides, what's wrong with a positive outlook on life, each and every day, religious or not?

These trips have made a huge impact on my life and they've really showed me that a life of service can be much more rewarding than living my life for only myself. Helping others and lifting them up makes me feel good, so why would I do anything but that? Gone are the days of grudges, negative attitudes, and hopefully complaining. My goal is to live a full life of servitude to those around me, in whatever way I can. Will you join me along the way?

To Whoever's Listening

I finally read the perks of being a wallflower and it was amazing. I highly suggest everyone reads it. I'm not sure what exactly what it is, but something about that book and movie stands out and needs to be appreciated. Not that it's not already appreciated by the world at large, but I feel like certain people who relate to it don't relate to it in the same sense that I do. I haven't experienced everything that is explained in the book, but I do get most of it on a very personal level, and before your worry, I'm in no need of help. I just wish the world could understand the beauty in it the way that I do.

Anyways, that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because I graduate in sixteen days. There are nine days left of the strenuous online course I'm taking and after that comes the mayhem of setting up the grad party. I'm rather excited for all of it but I also can't wait for it to be done. Such big events have so much anticipation but when they arrive it's almost like you're dreading it. I can feel it now. The building anticipation that will consume me and change to nervous banters about what will go where and how everything is supposed to be.

We all have ideas of how things like these will go from past experiences or seeing them on TV or in movies, but we also all know that that's not how it's going to happen. There will be family arguments. There will be drunks. And there will be the realization that a part of my life is completely over and I have to live with the choices I've made, along with everyone else in my class.

It's a strange transition to begin with, but I had to go ahead and make it more difficult for myself. Going off to college at sixteen without a high school diploma was hard enough in and of itself, but the process of receiving that physical diploma might be harder. I have to go back to the school I hated and surround myself with the people who I once considered my friends, only to have them turn their backs on me. I've never known what I did to them to make them hate me, but it must've been pretty bad. The only thing I can do is grin and bear it and hope for it to all come to an end soon.

The worst part is the unknown. What's keeping me up at night is what to put on the back of my cap. Not party details or "frenemy" issues, but what to display for the gym to see the day I walk across the stage. Do I say something kitchy and cocky like a big middle finger to the school, display the school of my choice for the next three years, or have an inspirational quote. Why do I care about such small details you may ask? The answer is simple: I'm so overwhelmed with everything else that my brain resorts to the one thing I actually have control over. Awesome.

Here's to a great fucking class and the end we've all been waiting for.

You Might Be A Gangsta If....

Growing Up

Friends come and go, I know this. It's part of growing up, along with so many other things. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier when you suddenly realize that you've lost most of the friends you once held dear.

I suppose it's just part of moving away, going after your dreams, but for some reason I always thought my friends would support me and stay in touch as I went after what I wanted in life. I guess I was wrong. Now I'm here wondering who I can really count on to be there for me.

I'm not someone who needs a ton of friends, in fact I really hardly have any, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to know some people have my back. I'm the kind of person who will always be a listening ear, a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, I don't care how well I know you, what the circumstances are, or what time it is. If someone needs me, I'll try my absolute hardest to be there for them, whether it's over the phone, through a video chat, or in person. The only bad part is that I rarely get the same thing in return.

I know it's petty and I shouldn't really care, but it still hurts. It makes me feel like I'm a kid again, trying to fit in with the cool kids and clearly failing, only to have them make fun of me and snicker at me as I pass them in the hallway. Will I always feel that way?

Yes, I'm comfortable with who I am as a person. Yes, I'm honest with myself about what I want to do and what I need to do. Too bad that's not enough. For now I suppose I'll just rely on the few friends I have (mostly family) until I can figure out who is real and who's only friends with me when they need something.

Keep in mind, this blog is not to bash anyone and it's really not a cry for help, I just needed to express this confusion. What am I doing with my life?

Does anyone really know what's going on or are we all just struggling through this jungle we call life and growing up?

Two Videos for the Price of One!

So life's been a little crazy lately. Finals are coming up, my phone hates me, my car hates me, and my bike is broken... Buuuuuuut, that won't stop me from delivering so here we are. Two videos uploaded in the same day to make up for last week's lack of video. Enjoy! 

The Adventure Vlog! [Winona Edition]

How Boys Try to Impress Girls!

Have a fantastic day!

Being an Adult Scares Me [Video]

All of my thoughts and confusion at growing into adulthood and what that really means...

Not my Arms Challenge! [Video]

Not my Arms Challenge video finally up!

What's the Point?

My family's far from perfect. Divorced parents, step-siblings that pretend I don't exist half the time. Siblings older than I that have their own crap and drama going on in life.

Hardly any close friends that I can count on, just chillin' here by myself with my vices in an attempt to keep me sane.

So what's the point? I'm here, just another sob story, living with depression and feeling it every day. Sure I'm on meds but does that help the overall picture? Of course not.

What's there to help when no one notices you, whether you're here or there? When no one talks to you or acknowledges you, accepts you.

There's no up or down, just a constant state or torture in your mind. You seek help, you're labelled insane, you don't, you're just causing yourself more pain.

There's no winning. More torture, more pain, more blood.

The world is forever spinning in a never ending torture chamber, all within one mind.

Thanks be to God that that mind has to be mine. Will the hopeless thoughts ever cease? Nope. Will hope be restored? Nope.

Why look up when all you know will come is farther down or more of the same? It's just not worth it anymore.

Why post blogs when not a soul reads them. I'm forever anonymous, forever unknown. I guess it's just something I'll have to live with... or not.

We'll see what tomorrow brings, probably more of the same. Not surprising, what more can I expect from a loner depressed life?

 The only answer: not a single thing.

Thoughts are Truly Strange [Video]

Hey Klan! Here's my latest video, all of the thoughts imaginable about thoughts and thought-ception! Check it out and be sure to click that like button and subscribe for new videos every Tuesday!

Spring Break Shenanigans [Video]

13 Facts, Just for Fun [Video]

13 random facts I thought I'd share just for kicks and giggles! Enjoy!

Pet Peeves [Video Edition]

Just some pet peeves explained in a humorous way. Enjoy! Subscribe for new videos every Tuesday/ Wednesday this week...

All of the Randomness [Video]

Some random thoughts from yours truly, I promise it's not as boring as it sounds. You'd be surprised what goes through my head :P

Sleeping Habits [Video]

All of my horrible sleeping habits minus the sleeping. Enjoy!

Music To My Brain

So I had a realization today and I just have to share it with the internet.

Along with language comes our differences and diversity, but something also to be shared and learned. Any book written in any language can be translated so that the story within can be shared with people all over the world. That's great, don't get me wrong, but you'll never get the full meaning of what the author was saying if you're reading a translation. Luckily, the same doesn't go for music.

Music is a universal language that gets the "author's" story across no matter where you are from or what you're background is. Music is truly an amazing thing. It paints a picture in your mind and has the ability to bring any emotion to your heart. Music can bring pain, love, sorrow, motivation, happiness, a party attitude, anything. And more than that, it translates anywhere in the world and it will always mean the same thing. I just can't believe that.

Alright, nerdy music lover out, go listen to some music and revel in it's glory. :)

Creeps- No Admittance [Video Edition]

New video all about the creeps and the creeping that never ends. Be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel for new videos every Tuesday! Enjoy!

Annoying People at the Gym [Sassy Video Rant]

Do you find people annoying at the gym? If so, here's a video just for you!

Back to School Cycle [Video]

Hate going back to school? Yeah, me too, but sigh no more, I made a video just for you about the vicious cycle that is college. Enjoy!

The Five Minute No Mirror Makeup Challenge [Video Edition]

Sorry it's a day late but it's up nonetheless. Enjoy the fuckery that ensued.

Future

So this evening after I got off work I decided I would watch a couple of movies before I edited and uploaded my video. I'm not sure why, I just didn't feel particularly motivated to relearn how to edit a video using new software.

While looking over the list of movies that I have yet to see and intend to eventually watch, I decided I would re-watch a movie that made me ball the first time I saw it. Perks of Being a Wallflower hit way too close to home the first go round and I told myself I would never ever watch it again but I couldn't bring myself not to watch it tonight. Maybe I'm just in one of those moods, ya know, where you can't think positively so you just wallow in all your self pity and force yourself to go through stupid painful things over and over again... or does no one else in the world do that?

Anyways, while watching this movie, I had a sort of revelation. During my time in high school and as a PSEO student, I've changed my mind about what I wanted to do with my life so very many times but I always come back to one thing. It had never occurred to me before just exactly why I wanted to become a teacher. Sure, I grasp new concepts quickly and can communicate to others what I'm trying to say well, but what I never thought about before is how big of an impact teachers have on kids. They could be the one person that a student feels comfortable going to about anything or nothing. They spend every day with kids and watch them learn and grow and become who they're meant to be. They give their lives to teach the future leaders of our world. They inspire the young and spark a fuse that will send them into their so very bright futures. Sure, they may not make very much money and it may seem like a petty job, but without teachers, the kids of our world would be lost. They would have no exposure to the past, the present, the beautiful, the unknown. Teachers help the future stars get their wings and the courage to take that first step into becoming themselves.

Maybe I do have a purpose after all. Maybe.