Sitting in an Irish pub this evening, I realized the significance of the song he was trying to teach me. When I met this man, I was going through a very difficult time in my life and he quite literally saved me. He showed me what forgiveness looked like and the worthiness of my own life. I still have a note from him reading simply "you are so worth it." It is one of the things that I look to when I remember the dark place I was in at the time as it attempts to pull me back.
It didn't occur to me until this evening the huge underlying message in the song I was learning. This man, who I had considered a friend, a companion, a strong supporter in my life, was quite literally showing me that he would be the one to save me. I'm not sure if he knew it at the time, but I know that I did not. I considered it just a simple song with simple chords to teach a beginner guitarist, but now I can see the message behind it all. Probably, God was sending a sign that this would be the song to get through the to me, but I can not really thank you for that. There are no words that can express the gratitude I feel for your actions of kindness. I wouldn't doubt if that is how you act towards every person you encounter and get to know, but I know I will never forget what you did for me. I will never forget how the simple task of taking the time to teach me a song on the guitar changed my heart and my attitude about life and my relationship with God. I know I have made mistakes, and I continue to make mistakes, but knowing that someone as genuinely good as you lives in this world is enough to to make me believe there is still hope for someone like me.
And so I say thank you. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for seeing what I couldn't see, and being with me, and teaching me things (both about guitar and about myself) that I couldn't learn from anyone else. And although I know that these feelings may not be reciprocated, I love you. You showed me grace, forgiveness, and worthiness, and there is nothing else I can offer you but love.
You may never read this. In fact, no one may ever read this. But I need to know that it exists; that at one point I acknowledged the fact that I love you more than I thought possible. I apologize for the brutal honesty, but I see no point in hiding it. You saved me from myself and any chance I get to see you and chat makes my heart flutter, and, in reality, that is nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, I hope you feel that same, but for now, I will go on, watching you grow into an even greater man, from the sidelines; all the while knowing that you will be great in whatever you chose to do, wherever you choose to do it, and with whomever you choose. I just hope I have made some small, if insignificant, impact in your life. It is all I can ask that I will not be forgotten in your eyes.
You were my messenger savior through Him, and for that, I can never repay you.
Thank you.
It didn't occur to me until this evening the huge underlying message in the song I was learning. This man, who I had considered a friend, a companion, a strong supporter in my life, was quite literally showing me that he would be the one to save me. I'm not sure if he knew it at the time, but I know that I did not. I considered it just a simple song with simple chords to teach a beginner guitarist, but now I can see the message behind it all. Probably, God was sending a sign that this would be the song to get through the to me, but I can not really thank you for that. There are no words that can express the gratitude I feel for your actions of kindness. I wouldn't doubt if that is how you act towards every person you encounter and get to know, but I know I will never forget what you did for me. I will never forget how the simple task of taking the time to teach me a song on the guitar changed my heart and my attitude about life and my relationship with God. I know I have made mistakes, and I continue to make mistakes, but knowing that someone as genuinely good as you lives in this world is enough to to make me believe there is still hope for someone like me.
And so I say thank you. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for seeing what I couldn't see, and being with me, and teaching me things (both about guitar and about myself) that I couldn't learn from anyone else. And although I know that these feelings may not be reciprocated, I love you. You showed me grace, forgiveness, and worthiness, and there is nothing else I can offer you but love.
You may never read this. In fact, no one may ever read this. But I need to know that it exists; that at one point I acknowledged the fact that I love you more than I thought possible. I apologize for the brutal honesty, but I see no point in hiding it. You saved me from myself and any chance I get to see you and chat makes my heart flutter, and, in reality, that is nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, I hope you feel that same, but for now, I will go on, watching you grow into an even greater man, from the sidelines; all the while knowing that you will be great in whatever you chose to do, wherever you choose to do it, and with whomever you choose. I just hope I have made some small, if insignificant, impact in your life. It is all I can ask that I will not be forgotten in your eyes.
You were my messenger savior through Him, and for that, I can never repay you.
Thank you.
