Throwing Thoughts to the Abyss

How am I supposed to be able to start a relationship when they have no idea all the shit that goes on in my brain? How am I supposed to be able to go out and meet someone when the voice in my head keeps playing all of my insecurities on repeat? I've known for a long time that anxiety is a son of a bitch, but the idea of sharing that with someone I hardly know is terrifying. But I can't really get to know someone if I'm not honest about how miserable I am. I'm sick of being lonely. I'm sick of hating myself. Here I thought I could find myself by being alone, yet it's only left me feeling more lost and pathetic than I've ever felt. I'm in a never-ending cycle of misery and loneliness. What am I supposed to do?